I'm moving to a new name because I'm going to link from deviant art to here and I rather start a new journal, a lot of stuff has changed and happend so I think a new start is good.

http://look-maew.livejournal.com/

look-maew is cat in thai

Okay I'm going home this weekend with A-Young and it shall be fun.

Working on a lot of school projects. I also have decided I shall start focusing on children's book illustration. (Not related to sketches below, below is just random).

Bad and quick doodles of ideas I've had, nothing finished, nothing serious.
Click it.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v463/ConeMonster/dump1.jpg

Now to run out the door! Weee!

Weekend has gone great. Its what I really needed. I got some problems all worked out before the weekend began, so that was wonderful.
Thursday A-Young and I moved my room around and she slept over.
Then on Friday we planned to go shopping. We went to Macy's and I got new (awesome) boots for only $21 they only had one of my size, lucky right? So after that we went to Burger King (I didn't eat anything :3) then Victoria's Secret to see what bra size I actually I. I am not a B, NO WAY, I tried on a B bra and my breasts overflowed and poped out. I am a LARGE C. YAY YAY YAY YAY. This is awesome, I am so happy, I feel so great about my body and so confident. C is the Bra size I want... BUT I don't want to be a D... and If I'm a large C... when I have kids... NOOOOOOOO. I want to stay C. So I bought one Bra, because it was expensive $34, but I should have one GOOD bra anyway, when I go back home I'll go to the underwear outlets at Woodburry commons and buy a bunch of new 34 C-cup bras! Yey, yey yey. I'm so happy.
Then we went back to her dorm, (after we went to K-mart, she got some bowls, and I got more pillows and a gift for Kate, we also met up with my dad and he gave me a box of stuff I wanted from home. And Kate will love her gifts SO much, I dug and dug to find the best one!). So at A-Youngs dorm we had a Moving On party- I moved on to a larger cup size, she is moving on from the mean things her ex-boyfriend did.
We ordered sushi ans sashmi and miso soup and yummmmm, had korean wine. Then we went down to her friend Ken's dorm and asked him if he wanted to come drink since he owed her some alcohol money. He doesn't speak English very well AT ALL, hes Japanese and just moved here (to America) in January. He tried really hard though, and we understood enough to communicate, and I taught him a little bit of stuff. So he went out and got some drinks and we all met back up in A-Young's dorm. It was fun. Ken was very nice, later he walked us back to my dorm, came in for a few min and then said goodnight. A-Young and I played video games and she slept over again.
We JUST finished moving the room around all the way and hooking my computer up. The room looks AWESOME!!

Now we are going to go make something for Kate and hopefully we can party tonight and then go do something tomarrow. Awesome weekend. Me and A-Young shall draw today :3

Okay I have a canker sore and I told my friend Peter about it and asked if he had med for it, and he told me about how he gets them under his tounge every now and then. And I was like oh? And then told me how they are caused... ODD, I just thought I didn't brush or mouthwash enough and got a little sore. No! They are actually not sure of the cause (werid) and are related to various other things. Mine is prolly from stress. I get canker sores every so often on the inside of my lip- painful but not unbarable. So I googled it and was reading around and I looked in images just to make sure what I have is a canker sore and holy shit look what I found:


Holy crap adoreable! Its an ulcer!


Look there is more like fleash eating disease and HIV! Though the cutest ones are the ulcer, beer yeast and the flu.

Omigosh lookit!!! If anyone gave me this flu, I'd kiss them! <3


The page: http://www.thinkgeek.com/geektoys/plush/6708/images/

It wants me but I won't let it...

The Good:

I drew some stuff today, yet I'm not going to scan untill I have a pile of stuff. I need to find my love in drawing again... and I don't need people judging me right now.

I saw Saw 2, which was pretty good, not as good as the first. The twist at the end was not clever, just... eh... unexpecting, but not exactly in a good way.

I've started up social projects which may kick off awesomely. I've taken charge of Kate's face book video game group and planning a party and it will be fun. I also am planning group collaborations and setting up a group for it, I also want to set up a mini gallery and actually have a club on campus.

My roommate is def moving out this weekend, I'm so excited.

My dad came and gave me candy and my mp3 connector... but not the charger- GUR. Maybe I can charge it through the computer.

People have said things about my weight, good things... and jealous things. I saw myself in reality again, thin. I also have learned that I have been shrinking my bras, I'm actually a nice C-cup, this makes me very excited.

I have a ton of work to do and I'm looking forward to it.


The Bad:

I'm sick, stomach sick, which I normally am. I'm always ill.

My room is a mess and it makes me unhappy.

I'm scared for my life...


The Freaky:

Okay... this will take so long to explain but yesterday I was at Kates all night. And somehow we got to the point where she dared me to prank Mako. DUMB idea in hindsight. Anyway, it ended up with him being REALLY creepy and he came to my dorm today and I had to threaten security on him and ugh ugh ugh it was so scary. If ANYTHING happends more, I am going to report this... but it kinda is my fault for pranking him... well no. Thats like saying I was asking to be raped (that didnt happen just what I compare it to). I tried to freak him out as payback for all the shit hes done to me and he ended up creeping me out x 100. It was fun at the moment but I wish I didn't do it now.

LONGEST DAY EVER. Class from 9am till 5pm then from 6pm till 9... but we went 20 mins over. I got something sort of yummy at the pie shop, a chicken cesar wrap, I was so starving.

NOW I have homework, but I'm stalling... so I made more dolls. At least its not THAT much LCD homework. I also gotta find the charger and connector for my MP3 player. I need music so bad for LCD tomarrow.

My favorite characters of mine all dolled up:




And look, its Kate!! (aka perilsofrosella and shes a real person, not a character, haha)




My roommate won't stop making pissed off noises in her half sleep. I got in at around 9:40 and she was in bed. Not my fault she goes to bed ungodly early and then has to wake up at the ass crack of dawn and inturupt MY sleep at NORMAL hours. I'm a night person? Yeah the latest I ever go to bed on weekdays is 2am.. but with my jam packed classes this semester its RARELY past 12:30. Then I sleep till 8ish. Thats pretty damn normal.
Well, she SHOULD be moving out like tomarrow, which means Kate or A-Young will move in. OR, I just get the room to myself. Or they will stick me with someone new and I WILL make their life a living hell if they even TRY to move around my T.V. or living space or try to share shit or try to be buddy buddy. Hell fucking no. I am not adjusting to anyone's crap (unless of course they of my best friends- mentioned above) this late in the year. Chances are anyway that if they were to move someone in it would be some reject who just HAS TO BE in Pantas because all their annoying friends are here, and I will kill them. OR a forign student who transfurs and that will not be very fun. Its very hard to live with someone which you do not speak the same language and have very different cultural and living styles. I wouldn't make their life hell because its not their fault they can't speak English well yet, but hell I will be uncomfortable and that is just unfair to do. MY LIVING SPACE, MINE, I will not go through another werid get-use-to-this-person-you-have-nothing-in-common-with thing.
And I get back so late I can't even ask my RA about this, and its driving me nuts.

Weeeee!



In other news... I want to draw so bad but feel unworthy ;_; I can't knock myself out of this slump... I have things I want to draw, I just feel so horrible about my work.

Happy Valentine's Day everyone.

I miss my Ian ;_;

Oh, got this from Kate, fill it out:
+ http://kevan.org/johari?name=teaandlace
- http://kevan.org/nohari?name=teaandlace

Ian came this weekend. I have not felt as good as I do with him since... well I can't remember. I cried my eyes out... (and still am) as he left. I miss him so much and hes been gone less than two hours. I've just been sorting though the photos we took together. When he left it was romantic... like a movie, and infact people were staring. I wouldn't let him go, and we kissed, before he left me in the elevator and the door slid closed between us. I watched him from my floor windows as he left the school.
I'm so depressed again.
I am so depressed and I need him so badly. These three days went by in a flash. I'm going to watch the movies we watched together, over and over, and play the games and listen to the music. My bed still smells like him.
I'm in such a hard place right now... I just don't want to be with out him, but thats how it has to be, at least for right now.

Photos inside: http://pratt.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2002354&l=f7679&id=17402256

Over worked and depressed. Yup.
Tonight I may go to a party and tomarrow Ian may come for the weekend.
Things may get better soon then, at least a pick me up.
I haven't really drawn much, I've been feeling discouraged and lack of time. I drew something for Kate though... and I bought an ink set. Might be the change of pase I need. You know what? Screw coloring for now, I should work on linework. Yup.
In put on this would be nice.

Lala...

EMO! This is going to be a gift for Peter because I owe him one.


I love asian horror movies, I felt inspired. It ended up becoming more like a doll angel, but whatever, I like the outcome either way.

Happy Valentine's Day to everyone <3
(Even though I'm a little early).



Sketches to come later for other stuff I'm working on.

5 words for what I love about myself, what I hate about myself and what I am proud of aboubt myself though maybe shouldn't be.

Love what I am:

Passionate. I love and indulge people close to me, in my relationships I use my heart to its full power. I am also very attached and loving twords close firends. I will cry, scream, love with all my heart.
Spiritual. I love God and I believe strongly in fate. I have faith, and don't care who knows it.
Impulsive. I make projects, play out ideas, run to stores, make last min plans. I must do things as I get inspired. There is a backlash though (see obsessive).
Playful. I get very playful and happy when I warm up to someone. When I'm happy I get very playful in general. Giggly too.
Creative. I love being able to achieve my ideas through art. Not a new concept around here, I mean everyone is creative, but I still love being it.


Hate what I am:

Insecure. My biggest and weakest fault. I am constantly falling back into "was I okay to do/say that?". I am not confident in my body/looks, art (although it depends on the day with this one), choices, speech. Most of my life problems come out of this trait. Sometimes I am confident though, but afterwards I stess and second guess myself.
Emotional. I cry, I yell, I bitch, I whine, I love, I hate, I have emo moments. My emotions are very out there and get the best of me often. I wear my emotions on my sleeve.
Negative. I am over critical. I normally see the glass half full. I don't allow myself to enjoy things a lot. I worry, I stress.
Fragile. I am VERY sensative. You could hurt my feelings with a feather. I makes me seem very immature and unprofessional. It is also taken advantage of by people.
Obsessive. Once I get hooked, I don't stop. This happends with games, drawing, work loads, daily habbits, and relationships. Going hand and hand with impulsive, I get hooked on something suddenly, and if I get hooked on something else, or stop,its never to be touched again. With relationships I get obsessed with the person, it will only end if its extremely important to have space or we break up (thats why my partner needs to be similar to, and extremely compatible with me.. ian :heart:).


Proud of what I am:
Elaborate. Interesting fact: I NEVER wear pants. I am always wearing dressy clothes. I love details. I also love quality. I stand proud in my high boots and lacey skirts.
Overkill. I tend to explain things too much (this ID for example). But I feel really strong and on top of things when I do. I also ask things (sometimes the same thing) over and over. This relates back to insecure.
Imaginative. Talking to me? Too bad, my mind is miles away. I've always had an over active imagination. I think I had imaginary friends up untill I was 11. Sad isn't it? It sure helps me now in the art field though :heart:
Cute. I am bouncy and cute when I am really happy. I am ALWAYS cute around Ian. I get so happy I have to expel it into cuteness. I also enjoy cute things. Stuffed animals, korean stationary, japanese critter characters, animals, little kids... I love it all.
Formal. Not so much online, but in person. I make tea when ever someone visits, I always knock, even when unnessicary. I speak very formal when I first meet people, or don't know them well. I repect elders. I am also old fashioned in ways of courting. I am the lady, Ian is the man. He treats me a certain way and I act a certain way. Also as said, I dress a little more classy, a little more formal. I also have a strict set of mannors with people face to face. Always please and thank you, even to my cat.


Do you now understand me better? Hehe.
--

Original: http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/28472587/

Yeah... but it wasn't that bad, but I'm not doing it again, it felt so heavy and it was disgusting. It was the only real thing I ate today. I hate the pie shop. It was tomato basil... so I guess it was healthy- or so Peter told me. But then Alex made us all get deserts, I have't eaten it yet though.
I feel so gross... but so hungry. But good news, I've lost about 2 pounds since I started freaking out. So I lost what I had gained. 114 now. 4 More to go for a ST goal. I'm taking it slower though... I'm ungodly hungry recently, even back when I was on my normal eatign break (ew). I've never gotten this hungry. Normally its like "oh my stomach is growling" *ignore*. But I've been like doubled over in pain and CRAVING food.
So I'm just going to take things a little slower untill I gain my self control back slowly. I feel like a failure.

In other news I should be doing my homework, but I just had to let all that out. Also my art is getting me upset, I feel so horribly unmotivated and discouraged. I need support, but note I'm not asking any of you to. I need to find a way to motivate me. School is kicking me in the stomach though... Monday through Weds is HORRIBLE. I can't stop and breathe. But somehow I've managed to eat almost 700 calories today....

I'm lost... I can't gain control over anything. I feel like I'm swimming in fat...

Homework will take my mind off things.

"Beautiful Bones"

Motivation + Inspiration. Today is 0.

I feel gross.

:/

Please barrow my heart untill your's has been fixed.



So many people I know have split up with their late love. Two people especially has my heart ached for. One, Susan I've known for a while, and the other, Kate, who I am very close to. I've felt their strong emotions and have seen them happily in love and deeply involved with someone. Both have had their hearts ripped apart. So please, Susan and Kate, I'm here for you if you need me.

Okay I have a tendency to drop things if I don't do them every day. LJ being one of them. So here is an art dump of stuff I've been doing. Also I've been in a rut, but I'm getting back on track with my image "Death reincarnation". Not much color you see... I've only had time to spare on drawing, oh well. I have to re find myself in color anyway.

How I've been:
Good and bad. Lets just leave it at, I'm still kinda stressed out, home was horrible, but Ian and I are great, and love is all that matters to me mostly. Love and art. And I love art and Ian does art, and I do art, see the cycle?! Hehehe.
And oh yeah, my grades were great for the most part. A "B" was my lowest grade. I got 2 A-'s and the rest B+. An A- in drawing class, wooooo! And the teachers tell us (in all classes besides history and english) that they don't give As, so I guess thats something to be proud of. I have a 3.4 GPA and that pretty good for my first semester of college EVER! Good start, now I want to improve on that. I am for NOTHING less than a B next semester.
Weight wise... I didn't gain any over break, but I didn't lose any either :/ I still am going to lose 5 more in the near future. Having classes untill 8 on Mon,Weds and 9 on Tues makes it so I can never eat in the cafe, and I REFUSE to eat in the pie shop. Pizza is the grosses shit ever, and I will never eat it. I might get a salad from the pie shop if I get hungry enough. I'll just live off soup, tea and pretzels on mon-weds. I'd check my exact weight right now but my shoes and crap are on, but I'm about 115/116, EWWIE!

Anyway.. art:

"death reincarnation" What I look forward to working on, my actual good sketch, getting back on track and out of an art slump:


( Click for more damn it!! )

Why so much work before the holidays? Are they trying to drive me insane?

I've been depressed these last few days and very stressed.